Chill Baby…You Can’t Change it

How to Stay Cool When Things Look Bleak

by Andrea Watson | December 16, 2020

Sometimes things can go really wrong in life. There are setbacks and messes and mistakes. Accordingly, there are also consequences for these things. So how do you deal with all the anxiety and stress that goes along with these types of situations? You can either fret and worry endlessly, making yourself sick with worry and having nightmares, or you can do what I do. Cut it out.

Some things happen that are out of our control. Some things we had a definite part of orchestrating. Whichever way it went down, it’s important to take a step back, look at it logically, and see what you can do to make things better. If you find these things, by all means, do them!If you find you have come so far as to not have control anymore, then the best thing to do is to turn your back on the stress and worry.

Why? Because anxiety can make you physically ill. If you keep banging your head against a wall that just won’t budge, you’re going to get a headache, quick. And I know it can be really hard to do, but if you are in a situation like this you have to just let it go and let the pieces fall where they may. After they do, then is the time to see what you can do to fix things and take the steps to do so. It takes a well-adjusted adult to do this without engaging in escapism.

But how can you just let things go, especially if you already have an anxiety disorder? You just have to realize and really know that you are powerless in this situation and make the decision to let the stress float away. Things are going to be the same whether you obsess and worry or not, right? Yes. Worrying never got anybody anywhere. Focus instead on possible fixes after it all hits the fan. Line up your resources so you are prepared.

I know this is easier said than done. Perhaps it is best to prepare yourself before predicaments happen by letting go of the stress of the little things that happen in life, such as what to make for dinner or what to wear or which lunch you are going to go for. This will help you to get a feeling for letting things go so when it is time to really do it, you will be ready.

Practice wu wei. This is a concept of paradoxical action through non-action. It is the cultivation of a state of being where our actions align effortlessly with the flow of the universe, and is one of the highest virtues in Taoism and Confucianism. When wu wei is achieved, you are no longer struggling against the natural course of the universe. Rather, your actions unfold naturally with it. Grasping this concept and practicing it is one of the best ways to learn to let things go.

When a situation persists in your life that would normally cause you stress and anxiety until resolution is reached, you may have some control over the outcome, but in many cases you won’t. Do what you can realistically do and then fall back on wu wei and you can’t go wrong. And remember, if you follow any type of Buddhist or Taoist principal at all, there is really no telling if what seems bad is actually bad, or what seems good is actually good. We can just never know until the aftermath comes. So relax. The situation will be there whether you stress or not, so choose to not. It’s a lot healthier for you. Until next time dear readers,

Andrea xo