By Andrea Watson | October 21, 2020
There’s no doubt that 2020 has been one heck of a year. It’s been tough. Many of us have suffered a loss in one form or another, and some of us have even died. We see a lot of blog posts and articles about how to maintain our mental health and wellness through the pandemic. This is good-we’re trying to survive here. But what about growing through it? I am here to tell you that this is possible too and that personal growth and development are how we come through the tough times better for it. What can we do to accomplish this goal? There seems to be so much dragging us down. I’ve got some ideas tumbling around in my head that I think you might like. So let’s get right to it!
Building Confidence
Evolutionary Roots
Let’s start at the beginning. The very beginning. Confidence is one of the most important aspects of our evolution as human beings. Confidence gives us the motivation to act even though we are faced with uncertainty, according to the scientific journal, Nature. Throughout our history, the creatures with less confidence were less likely to survive and pass on their DNA. This makes sense. If you didn’t have the chops to run out into the open and possibly in front of predators to grab that food, you would starve. They would lose out on resources they needed to survive, including mates and their genetics would not go on. Confidence evolved with us to give us an edge. Today, the more confidence we have, the more willing we are to take on life’s challenges; in this case, the Covid pandemic. It inspires us to overcome our fears and just go for it. (Steven Handel) No wonder humans find confidence attractive in others.
Today’s World
In the modern world, we often sabotage ourselves because of a lack of confidence. After years of being down on ourselves, it’s hard to find any confidence at all. Luckily, there are some simple and healthy ways to increase and maintain our confidence. Are you ready? Good!
Achievement
Confidence is built on achievement, not hollow praise. Those little things we have done right or excelled at build us up to try bigger things. Bigger achievements lead to more confidence and new action to try even bigger things, and the cycle continues. Performing a realistic appraisal of our abilities allows us to strategize for the future. We can plan to strengthen ourselves and use the improvements to create a positive feedback loop. This will strengthen our perception that we can influence outcomes.
Visuals
We can also imagine ourselves being successful. Engaging in positive visuals allows us to feel confident about those moments. Taking criticism productively instead of as a put-down or threat is also great for confidence. If we see criticism as information that can help us be and do better it will enhance our task performance next time.
Cultivate The Right Environment
People influence our attitude, whether they are on or offline. Surround yourself with a circle of support and people who inspire you (Steven Handel).
Forgive Yourself
I had to go there, didn’t I? Yes. Absolutely. So you ate a brownie today. Or you didn’t work out. Or you slacked off on your chores. So what? As long as these things don’t turn into habits, it’s totally fine. Will one brownie make you blow up like a balloon? No. Will the dirty dishes still be there tomorrow? Yes. Forgiving yourself often leads to authentic confidence and self-worth (Steven Handel).
Celebrating
Noticing and celebrating our tiny successes can help us subconsciously build up positive expectations for upcoming events and tasks. We have to notice our success in order to utilize it. These are all practical steps we can take in our lives to build more confidence in ourselves and broaden our horizons. Now, all we have to do is apply it in the areas of life we wish to enhance. This should come naturally and can benefit us in countless ways. So get out there and go for what you want! I’m confident you can.
Nurturing Self-Efficacy
Self-efficacy is how we see our ability to do things, specifically how we trust in our abilities to take on challenges, like coping through the Covid19 pandemic. Generally, self-efficacy refers to our belief that we can be successful, but when we get right down to it, specific beliefs emerge, such as our beliefs that we can be successful in baking or painting. This is not the same as self-esteem, confidence, or self-worth, although they are similar (Courtney E. Ackerman, MSc.).
“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”
-Henry Ford
Exploring Spirituality
What exactly do I mean here? Do I mean you should start going to church right away? Start praying? Reading the Bible? No, I don’t mean any of those things. I mean explore your own personal spirituality. There are a few ways you can do this.
Identify Your Beliefs
This one may be harder than you think. Many of us are Christian, it’s true. But the vast majority of the world is not. In the USA, we have a whole slew of belief systems and structures, and within those constraints, beliefs between individuals vary. For example, I hold Daoist beliefs, yet I also practice witchcraft. How can this be? It is because over the course of my life I have analyzed, tested, and challenged what I actually believe. I have put my concept of spirituality through the wringer over and over again, and for now, this is what I am left with. A construct purely my own. It is wise to do this. Questioning yourself and the validity of your convictions is the only way to really get down to your core. And that is where you need to be.
Identify Your Morals
Morals are not the same as beliefs. Neither are they the same as ethics. Morals have to do with what you believe to be acceptable or unacceptable behavior. For example, most of our moral compasses tell us that murder is wrong-we would never do it. Other morals speak against abortion, lumping it in with murder. Some would support abortion but not murder and further still, some people would even justify murder as morally acceptable in certain situations. Morals are different for everyone and just like beliefs, they are best and strongest when tested and challenged.
Identify Your Standards
Standards are guidelines by which you live in order to follow your chosen path. I have a standard of practicing Wu-Wei, or effortless action. I act without struggle, I let things happen naturally and I act naturally along with the flow. Some people have standards of not having sex before marriage. Others have a standard of attending a church or mosque every holy day. Some of us know we have standards without being able to express what they are. When you do the internal work needed to discover your standards, you learn about yourself, just as when you are identifying your morals and beliefs. These three things are high on the list of personal growth tactics and can all be done in the privacy and comfort of your own home as you wait out the Covid pandemic. These things are also all well worth the effort.
These are just a few of the many ways we can grow personally through the Covid crisis, rather than merely cope with or survive it. Doing these things even if we think we have a firm grip on all of it already will strengthen us, fortify our defenses against negativity, and help us come out of this 2020 mess more whole, well-rounded people. Don’t be dragged down too much by the shift in our reality. Take steps to lift yourself up in the time of seemingly-eternal downs. Practice. Evaluate. Grow, and be happier.
References
- Ackerman, Courtney E., MSc, https://positivepsychology.com/self-efficacy/
- Handel, Steven, https://www.theemotionmachine.com/confidence-is-important/
Life All Day 