When Life Gives You Mangoes

Say “What the Hell!?” and Then Run With it

by Andrea Watson | December 4th, 2020

There’s no denying it, sometimes life deals us some pretty strange cards. When you find yourself in a courtroom over a dispute with your neighbor surrounding an untrimmed mulberry bush, or if you look around and see nothing but a wall disapproving wicked-witch faces frowning in on you, or even if you suddenly wake up and realize you have been conversing with your cat about Jung’s archetypes for the last 8 hours, it is only natural to say, “What the hell?!?”

This is okay. It will all be okay.

Things happen, and it’s not all starry-skies and smooth sailing all the time. These strange occurrences are what I like to call mangoes. They are not lemons, so no need to throw them back at the universe, flip it off, and buy your own damn fruit. Mangoes don’t give me heartburn and plus I like them. They are sweet and a little confusing and life without them would be just a little sadder. But no matter how much we like the mangoes, we have to remember to question them, because they simply don’t make sense.

When you are living with a severe mental illness like DID, psychosis, or schizophrenia, mangoes happen. A lot. Even with your medications. For me, sometimes I forget to get my injections or the meds wear off before I get a chance to re-up. When these things happen, I do find myself discussing Jung with my cat or running barefoot to the entrance of the public library at one o’clock in the morning or scrubbing my walls until the paint is gone.

This is okay. It will all be okay.

It just means that life is a little much for me to handle rationally right now and I need a little extra help. Luckily, I am pretty good at letting my support system know that I have reached the land of mangoes and they in turn are pretty good at helping me reign it in. As disturbing as these episodes can seem, I have learned that a lot of what goes on in my head is not really real. I am not seeing and hearing the things I think I am. I do not need to choose between taking either 42 or zero pills. I have a family that loves me and I am in fact breathing just fine.

Life can be just like Alice in Wonderland sometimes. For those of us with mental illness, it can be hard to find our way out of the hellish dreamscape and back to reality. So what can you do to help a person who is juggling mangoes? If you are part of a support system for someone who goes through this, it is important to know them and what they need. It differs for different people. But generally, there are some things you can do. For me, I need to be watched closely. Not in a patronizing way, but be on the lookout for self-harm or suicidal statements or actions. Second, let me know firmly that I am in need of help and it would be irresponsible and inappropriate for me to not get my meds straightened out right away.

Next, I need someone to make an appointment for me. I won’t do it on my own. Just like I won’t take anti-psychotic pills, which is why I require monthly injections. I will fight against getting help at all costs when I am in this state. It is almost childish, but that’s the way it goes. My support system has to take charge. I think this is one reason why it is so small. I have three people; my two sisters and my father. Luckily, they do an excellent job and they love me enough to put up with the crap I give them for bossing me around.

Finally, I need to be told I am doing a good job if I am doing a good job. When I get this way, I think and act very much like a child, and I need that reinforcing praise to continue doing what I should be doing for a coupe of days. I’m sure it can be extremely frustrating and annoying for my support system, but I just can’t change the way my brain works when I am off medications.

An effective support system will understand what comes with the mangoes for their loved ones. They will be able to respond appropriately. If you are one of these special people and do not know what to do about the mangoes, please make an effort to learn either by talking to your person directly or to the other members of the support system. Thank you from all of us fruity-loving peeps. And remember. Mangoes are not lemons. So be at peace, do the best you can, and remember that everything will be okay. No heartburn here. Til next time,

Andrea xo