Saltwater Granola and Me

I’m crying into my granola right now. Why? I’m not sure exactly. Could be the seasonal affective disorder. Could be the fact that I’ve been working so much I haven’t had time to write or clean my house in a while. Or it could be the fact that my once-beloved friend and roommate is such a lazy asshole he hasn’t gotten off his ass or the couch to help me or do a goddamn thing in weeks. Probably all three.

I set a goal in my post November Knockouts to be ready for the holidays by having enough money to pay for presents before the time comes. And I’m doing it. I am now working two jobs Go me! the money is rolling in, in small quantities. They are both jobs I can do with my son by my side and unfortunately, I have to do them this way because the person who should be helping me is too busy taking advantage of me instead. He is drinking all my Mountain Dew, smoking my cigarettes, and not contributing a single dime or a single minute to the cause. And I can’t live without those things!

My life with boys has surely changed and I don’t like it one bit. I keep forgetting about school for my son…this damn hybrid learning crap is killing me. My house is a disaster…seriously it looks like nobody has ever cleaned it. My sanity is slipping fast because I am working ALL THE TIME. But I love me so it’s time to change things. First I have to get rid of my roommate. Pronto. He obviously doesn’t care and that’s a shame because I really really do.

Next I’ve got to take a day off and clean my house. A whole day off please, where I can get rid of all the garbage both literal and figurative. Then I have to work it so that Lucien can bring his laptop in the car with us while I work outside of the house. A pain, but doable. I honestly hate this. I am getting almost nothing else done besides work, and I don;t have a single soul to help me with what I need, even though I should.

I need to go to the dentist to get this half a tooth pulled out of my face. I need to go to the doctor to get this swollen wrist taken care of. Who will watch Lucien while I do these things? A big, fat fuckin’ nobody, that’s who. So good luck to me. Being a single mom sucks. The big one. I know I’m not alone, I just need somewhere to vent and dump it all and my blog is a good place to do that.

So reader, I apologize for any offense. I am just really struggling right now, and heartbroken. I cray at random intervals, I’ve been throwing up for days, and all my resources are being depleted. I hoe that none of you are going through this and I empathize with you if you are. Tell me about it! I know there are people who care, just they are not here with me. And that sucks too. Time to change the beat, yeah? Yeah. I’ll tell you how it goes. Much love.

Andrea xo